i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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