if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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