I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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