I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My life is pants optional.
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