Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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