I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
