its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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