Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
