Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
