I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
