Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
