dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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