Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
