so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
