Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
