So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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