I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I had to cum in my sink.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
