Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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