Whod you bang
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
