dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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