Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
