help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
