Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Randomize
