No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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