Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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