Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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