I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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