Did you just see the Batmobile???
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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