It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
