I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
