so that wasnt chicken after all
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
