doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
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It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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