lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
