i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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