Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
