So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
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i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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