My balls are so social today.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
