Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
