Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
