i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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