I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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