Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
