hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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