Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
