Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
