Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
