can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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