it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
