no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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