butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
