you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
