why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
the liver wants what the liver wants
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
