I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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