I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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