No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
