I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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