eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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