My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
