I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
