I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
