he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
