Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
a search helicopter?!
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
