In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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