How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
