WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
