She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
