so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
